Players don't listen and their stupidity taste so good

Demon Hunters Campaign...

The Demi-Angel Ninja named Gilly is trapped within his ninja sword and must defeat his inner angel to be free. They are a few miles up on at the top of a mountain facing off. This is Gilly's 12th time fighting the Angel and he is painfully aware that the being's ability to fly puts him at a sore disadvantage.

Initiative is rolled and the Angel wins as always.

The Angel plows into Gilly like a rocket, one of Gilly's favorite moves in Angel form, and knocks the ninja 30' back to the edge of the mountain side and a sheer drop. The Angel continues 20' feet out and floats above the open space, daring Gilly to attack. Gilly, without missing a beat runs out after his opponent. At that point I had to jump in.

GM: Mike, are you sure you want Gilly to charge the Angel?
Mike: Gilly ain't afraid of no one especially not his angel form! Gilly charges and stabs straight for his throat.
GM: I don't think Gilly would do that...
Mike: Lem, Gilly is my character. I know what he'd do!
GM: Okay...

Gilly runs off the mountain and dies four pulses later when he hits the ground.

roflmao!

Mike: He was flying over the side of the mountain!? Oh, I thought you meant ssomething else...

lol

Land of the Four...

After being used like tiny punchingbags and chew toys by a group of trolls the PCs flee from the court yard and into the great towering structure. Trapped within the keep of a powerful wizard, the party begins working their way to the top of the tower. As they went from puzzling and trapped room to puzzling and trapped room they were constantly approached by an elderly dwarf that would greet them cordially and ask them were they guest of his master. The party would answer yes every time and he would walk away... up until someone tried to be greedy.

The newest member of the party was a Rogue/Spellcaster 2/2 (3.5) being played off by one of the more ''mentally deficiant" players I've dealt with. After the party was almost killed by a rather ingenius trapped room ,housing orbs that fired 3 Magic Missiles every 2 rounds at each occupant of the room, he was left on watch being the only member not in the room when the room was triggered. While the rest of the party slept he got ansy and began to examine the door that the party chose to keep locked until they were all healed. Once was was sure that the lock was within his abilities he pulled out his thief's Tools to the displeasure of his fellow PCs. He ignores everyone's pleas to leave the door locked and opened the door.

The Dwarven Manservant approaches from down the hall...

Dwarf: Greetings, and welcome to my lord Malik's abode. Are you guest of the Master.
Rogue/Wizard: No, we are thieves and robbers here to loot this place!
PCs: *Stare, gape mouthed with shock*
Dwarf: ...
Rogue/Wizard: Lol.
The illusion of the dwarf melts away and a blade wielding construct takes its place, even as the rogue watches a second blade slides out of the machines bare arm.
Dwarf/Construct: I humbly apologize but I have to dispatch you as expedient as possible.
Rogue/Wizard: P... Please, don't!
His screams awaken everyone else who spends the next couple of hours nursing the severely wounded Rogue/Wizard back to health and keeping the Construct from breaking the door down.

A flying wizard Lightening bolts a group of "Drow" (Orcs) and in turn get a hast of his own medicine returned back to him and a fireball to light the candle.

Stupidity.


That stupid mage shudda moved after his attack.

Yo i must say that mike is hilarious. but in the end, gilly still lives. don't even mention, "o u don't show up and that they always save him." that shit is whack. because when i was playin a little more regular, i still was gettin killed.

Land of the Four

Van Zan gestures toward three points ahead in the next chamber and whispers...

Van: I cant see them but I know there are enemies up ahead.
Teff: Yeah, i got this!
Van: I'm whispering for a reason
Teff: Check THIS shit out! (Teffelyn charges into the next room)
GM: You just run in?
Teff: yeah!
GM:... three orcs leap out and start beating on you...

lol when did that happen?

Lmao. That's definitely a muppet moment. We tend to have one of those a session. I bet it tasted good.lol. Now were they beatin on him as though they were jus tryin to take him like daichi, or they jus whoopin on him to kill him.

We crawled into a random fissure. That encounter ended up being a mini boss. Too funny!

As to the Mike comment. We are all beaten up from fighting 5 Giants. We are in desperate need of healing and we ask our Priest, HEAL US...AGGggg Gargle gargleing in our own blood.

He says I have no more healing because I used it on NPC Mike. That fool lived wile we got waked.

Lmao. And no one stopped him and explained to him that Mike's character was only a npc and that he should heal up the players that r actually there first. And further say to him that the npcs have a higher survival rate than the regular players. He should already no this though.

First off the healer did hot waste anyhealing on the npc mike I first aid him so he wouldn't die because the two npc were bleeding out and I didn't want to waste any real healing on them just because there npc does not mean you just ignore them as if they were never there yes outside of game we all know he's not there but in game he's just another person who needs help npc or pc

how many crits did you roll today lem? that was ridiculus. lloyd was dead in this session

yo lem is actually rolling crits and other good rolls when it was necessary, not saying that lloyd was making bad decisions (cough cough), but he could have made better ones.

Maybe the dice finally agree that stupidity should be punished! lmao, j/k

That's jus another way of sayin "I'm a ddddddddddddddddddddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" lol.

hey hey lloyd you hungry. (hands lloyd food as he points down to the 20) lol

I realize now how much I miss you all. I have rarely played with such interesting characters. How did you guys ever win any combat with out certain other characters around to save you? Lem you are so cruel. You actually warn them before they do stuff, as a hint you know they won't pay any attention to. Only to laugh at them as they die... So cruel.....

So true, so true...but that's what makes the game fun....of corse it sucks at the time, but looking back at those times, I had a blast....

strikes again!