DQ: Great Moments in Roleplaying!

June, the fighter type from the town of Highway, struggles up the mountains north of Craglock in search of the Witch Doctor. In tow is the unconscious dwarven conman Byorn, the reason for the trip. He'd loss his hand in an argument with a fellow dwarf and sort the reclusive shaman in hopes of having it regenerated. Ambushed by a troll during the trip they both were in bad sorts. Fearing being ambushed in the middle of the night, June sits watch.

It isn't long before a stranger approaches the camp. He's small and jittery and speaks with a Golem (Lord of the Rings) quality. He knows she's on a mission and he believes their meeting is kismet. He is thinks that he is obviously the key to the party meeting the Witch Doctor. Desperate she clings to this glimmer of hope and asks for the small man to show her the way. He quickly agrees in exchange for some stinking or rotting food. Confused she asks him to enter the light of the campfire.

Seeing that the creature is a Goblin she is torn between killing the small creature and taking his help. Fortunately commonsense prevails and she offers him the only food she has, smoked deer meet. Crestfallen the creature asks if he can rub the meat on her dead friend. Confused, she yes. The goblin removes the dwarf's boots and scrubs his feet with the meat. Feeling that it wasn't enough he rolls the deer flesh in the unconscious dwarf's beard. He gobbled the meat down and the entire gaming group left the room sick to their stomach, LOL!

They were so disturbed by the imagery they were almost numb to the shock of finding out the gross Goblin turned out to be the Witch Doctor.

LOL, Goblins rule!!

I'm actually shocked that more of my post aren't from the Demon Hunters Campaign. Some of my best roleplaying experiences stem from the mayhem of my family's homebrewed game. Here are the most recent.

Fall of a Plus
The HunterPlus, super soldier of the former Organization, Ganameade Jaa and Tracy Morgan the borderline mental retard and posterchild for the new GEA (Grand Earth Army) are constantly at odds with one another. She's publicly embarassed him in battle and he's knocked her out and left her in the woods. All stemming from animosity borne of the rivalry from being trained by the same master. The GEA, high off of its defeat of the angels that had enslaved the Earth for the last 4 years, had its sights on an alliance with the Contemporaries of Texas. They send a group including our heroes and the two rivals.

After a meeting with the Senate of The People's Republic of Texas Tracy Morgan is a little excited about her little performance before the Contemoraries and decides that it is the perfect time to exact revenge on the Plus. She waits until she's at their hotel and rushes Ganameade with her most dangerous attack. She's rains blow after blow upon him and steps back. She is shocked to find him unscathed. Surprisingly, he walks away. This puts such a fear of retaliation into Tracy that she spends the rest of the day convincing a recent ally, the Vampire Valaria, that Ganameade needed to die. All of this is done in secret through paper passed back and forth from PC to GM.

The party settles down to sleep. When morning comes each player goes about their morning routines and then AnnMarie, mission commander, does her daily inspection to find Ganameade a bloody mass in his room. The walls and floor are painted with the blood of his nighttime companion and the faces in the room are all in shock except for one mischievous smile that watches the GM from the corner...

A Secret RevealedThe DemiAngel Gilly and Animus Toni Silence-Plopper are captured by an underground group of evil Contemporaries while in The People's Republic of Texas. The two are subdued and wake up in a lab where Gilly is put to surgery in front of an assemblage of scientist. He's sedated and Toni is too drugged to understand why they seem so excited and facinated by the position and design of his organs. Pissed, Michael (Gilly's PC) has resigned himself to his fate and is already thinking about his new character.

Meanwhile, AnnMarie is being held captive by her first husband the selfproclaimed King of the Contemporaries, Axel. As always she is resisting his sexual advances and tries to escape him when a familiar DemiAngel overpowers her and drags her back to The Red King. She stares at Gilly and promises to kill him when she gets a chance. Mike is incredulous and challenges the GM about how he could be in surgery and restraining AnnMarie at the same time! It isn't long before the PCs sit and listen with apt expressions of awe as Axel speaks of his pride and joy of the cloning of Gilly nearly 3 years ago.

Mike gets angry and asks me how and why would Axel have a clone of him? As the tale continues he realises the moment that the clone was made and grudginly acknowledges my cleverness but this is quickly replaced with looks of horror as it becomes that the real Gilly never left Axels side... leaving Michael' character the clone. The clone he's been roleplaying since October 2009. lol, 6 months in real time and he had no idea though the clues were constantly thrown in his face.

Cloning facilities and equipment: Millions maybe billions of dollars
Mike's face: Priceless



(Reposted from Vilanox.com)

Off to make more memories tonight... when you guys hear what I have planned it will be awesome and they'll hate me even more. I love being a Douchebag DM. Wish I could get paid for it...

i dont like it and i doubt we will be doing 1 on 1 battles anymore lol

lancelot chamomile wrote:i dont like it and i doubt we will be doing 1 on 1 battles anymore lol

I fail to see the relavence...

Lmao. Ur an ass and a half dude. U always fkin wit Mike. SO now that he nos wat has been happenin, and he is all dumb struck by it, he still thinks that he is a god. I no that he is a powerful character but allow me the tools to make a change and strike fear into his heart.

wtf. i didnt post this in this room. how did it get there?

Lord Naiilo wrote:Lmao. Ur an ass and a half dude. U always fkin wit Mike. SO now that he nos wat has been happenin, and he is all dumb struck by it, he still thinks that he is a god. I no that he is a powerful character but allow me the tools to make a change and strike fear into his heart.

Fuck you! If you want to take him down a notch, actually show up and play. The only reason Archer is getting any where is because Toni Silence-Plopper has taken her under her wing and her master has begin teaching the two of you how to fly. You want to dethrone Gilly, step up and do it!

Wat!!!! Word!!! So how we gonna make this happen. I honestly be feelin mad tired when I leave work on Saturdays sometimes or I have some errands after work but I got u. If u would roleplay wit me on the side so that I can catch up a little some other day, it would be cool. But I'll try to be there a bit more. So rite now I am training wit Toni rite. And if I can actually get the lab up and running, I will work on some stuff.

And yet you still barely show, Naillo... what a disappointment.